A Review of Hurricane Katrina – Tulis McCall

Opined September 13, 2005

So there I am on Sunday the 29th and I’m listening to NPR It was Hurricane this and hurricane that until I finally turned on the TV to see what was the big
deal. There on the screen was a satellite photo of a very very very big storm filling up most of the Gulf of Mexico, and The Weather Channel was squeezing
coverage out of the waves in Florida, the wind in Alabama, and the line of cars leaving New Orleans and. Then there was the mayor of New Orleans telling
people that Hurricane Katrina was on its way. They had to evacuate and had better do it right away pronto he wasn’t kidding.

Okie dokie then. Got my attention.

Next we switch to a young women sitting in the playground with her son. The reporter asked her if she was going to leave and she said no.

That would be a negative as in “No I am not leaving.” Why? Because I have no car. What about a bus? I have no money for a bus, she says, and nowhere to
go if I did. So we’ll just stay and go to the Superdome I guess. More pictures of people not leaving. Back to a satellite of the storm and more reporters filling
airtime. More pictures of people leaving. Then an interview with a little bald man, the mucky muck in charge of emergencies in New Orleans or something,
who was nearly shouting. A Category 4 or 5 hurricane would be a disaster, he says! A disaster! If the levees fail - thousands of people dead. Thousands of
people. The World Trade Center was 3,000, he says – this could mean 10,000 dead. Or more. Or more!  

Next came the Governor of Louisiana, the Senator form Louisiana and the Governor of Mississippi all saying this was an emergency. No mention of busses or
planes to get the stranded people out. But an emergency for sure. Pretty much everyone agreed on that.
Even George Bush said it was an OFFICIAL Emergency just before he left town. Emergency. You bet. Yessiree. Everyone agreed.  

Then we had a time warp where all these people went someplace safe and played cards or clipped their toenails or had lobotomies or something. Because the
hurricane did hit big time, and the next day all these safe people emerged into the light of day still saying exactly what they had said before and then some.  

Come to find out the people in Louisiana thought it was enough to say they had an emergency and wait for the Feds, and the Feds were waiting for a written
invitation to the party. Which would no doubt have been sent except that the mail, and all the phones, and the televisions, and the air conditioners, and the ice
cream machines, and the beer coolers, and the party lights, and the pumps, and the life support systems, and the dialysis machines, and the insulin
refrigerators, and the toilets, and the busses out of town weren’t working.  

So without a formal invitation the Feds were – well George Bush was in the dry states with his constituents, sending prayers and good wishes. The head of
FEMA was pretty much a deer in headlights, and the head of Homeland Security was putting the final touches on his tan.  
Back in New Orleans, what was working were television crews. My television in New York was working. So I saw people screaming from their rooftops. I
saw people crying in the Dome. I saw people dead on the street. And this, you might think, if someone, say in Washington, who worked for the Federal
Government, would count as an open invitation to the Federales to come on down. But you would be wrong.

Maybe people in Washington just don’t watch television, or maybe they just don’t like television, or maybe they just don’t believe the news that they haven’t
created.  
Or. Maybe they just don’t like all these people in Louisiana and Mississippi being so damn needy all the damn time especially now when they were ruining other
people’s perfectly good and well planned vacations to the French Quarter.

Think about it.  

25% of Louisiana was on Medicare before the hurricane. Mississippi is at the bottom of the pile for just about everything. These people talk worse than the
George Bush. When they have a problem with another person they reach for their liquor and guns. When they have a problem with one of their teeth they pull
it out. They build casinos on wetlands. The really poor ones live in a swamp, and the rich ones live on stilts at the edge of the ocean. Other than the fact that
they sit on top of an oil highway - how much do these people really matter?  

As it turns out - not much. Not much at all.

No to worry, though. Half of them have been farmed out to other states - other states whose residents will probably start to resent these refugees sooner rather
than later – like they did in California in the Dust Bowl days. No matter - the Federal problem will diffuse, and the states will be on their own.

And signs of recovery are emerging. The French Quarter is dry. Halliburton has a contract to help rebuild. Michael Brown has resigned as head of FEMA and
was replaced by U.S. Fire Administrator David Paulison. You may remember Mr. Paulison. Two years ago he was the one who issued the recommendation
that we all keep duct tape in our homes to seal windows and doors in case of a biological or nuclear attack. Condoleezza is shopping at Ferragamo’s and
attending the theatre in New York, and George Bush went back to the U.N. to lecture them on human dignity and human rights.

Looks like blue skies to me...

© 2005 Tulis McCall