Usher
Nonsense
There are 10,000 ushers in the naked city. These are the opinions of one. Offered here as an unpaid public service.
(Actually, through ushering, I saved up enough money to buy a few Broadway tickets, and they are offered here as well. Equal opportunity
and all that.)
For my money, the theatre is up there in the ten top reasons to be human. I leave my home
and to sit in a dark room with complete strangers and watch actors do their stuff because I want
to be inspired. I’m asking to be involved. I’m volunteering to be lead down any old path they
choose as long as they don’t let go of my hand.
And if I see a show, and it is NOT so very good - I will try to divert you, because I don’t want you
to come to the temple when the preaching isn’t up to snuff. I will bar the door, I will swing from
rafters, I will yell FIRE just to set your feet on a path that does not lead to disappointment. Do
something different with your evening I will say. Save your money for dinner with a friend you
haven’t seen in months because you are too frigging busy. Go take a walk with your dog or
your child or your significant other. Go to bed early, I will say. Don’t come to the theatre when it
is less than it can be.
I’m an usher snob, and that’s all there is to it.
